Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
