can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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