the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
