operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
