You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
