so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
