I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
