oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
