3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
