remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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