dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
