goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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