you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
one two three fourrrrnication!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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