my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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