Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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