So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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