He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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