i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
