sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Randomize
