I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize