I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
