He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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