New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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