Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize