Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You are a genius and a whore.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
