On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
