38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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