I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I am naked and annoyed.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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