That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
