i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
