I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
