This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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