dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
