Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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