im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My bed smells like the plague
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
