..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
