u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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