are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
