why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize