we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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