fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
