Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
