well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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