I just cut my nipple shaving
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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