I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
