Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
