Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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