Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize