Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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