Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
