what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
