nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
