So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
