Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
