O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
