Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
