): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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