Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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