THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We got so high we made milksteak
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
