Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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