can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
