ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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