I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize