i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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