is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
operation have a gay friend backfired
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
