pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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