plz talk dirty to me
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
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