On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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