I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
