Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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